Advice by Sutra Magazine



I have a complicated matter to deal with; I am a 24 year old South African lady from Johannesburg, working in Durban. While in Durban, I found a wonderful man (25 years old) who works as an Accountant for a very prestigious firm, my problem is that he is so work orientated that I sometimes feel excluded from his life, also, we decided not to commit to each other, as we need to sort out certain issues in our lives – at least, that’s what he says! Recently I’ve been having a feeling that there is another woman in his life, he says that they are friends but who would be the wiser? PLEASE HELP!!


Dear Ashika

Keep in mind that the choices he has made may not be beneficial to you but they are to him. Generally, a 25 year old man in a position such as this is extremely career focused, and tends to neglect other aspects in his life such as relationships. Maybe at a later stage once his career is more established, he will want to commit to you. Until then, it is up to you to decide whether this man is important enough to you, to hang on and wait for him, or as the saying goes – there are many fish in the sea. As for his friend, it could be plutonic, but do not be naïve to the thought as there could be something more to it. The best thing to do is take a time out to decide what you want and whether he fits into the picture or not.



I am a 28 year old man, who is in love with a 25 year old woman. We have been friends for the passed eight years, and through all our feelings for each other, we have never been intimate with each other. My dilemma is that I have a girlfriend of 25, who I have been dating for the passed two and a half years. My friend of 25, has a boyfriend for the passed four years, and is very in love with him. I have loved this woman for as long as I can remember and have not been able to commit to anyone else. Recently she has been calling me often to go out for drinks. Should I pursue her? Please advise…


Dear Evan

You need to remember that what you are doing to your girlfriend is wrong, do you think it is wise to be in a relationship when you feel so strongly for another person. My advice to you is simple. End this relationship with your girlfriend as you are not being fair to her. Speak to your other lady friend and find out where her heart lies and take it from there. At all costs, you both should not hurt your present partners. A little selflessness won’t hurt.



I am a 40 year old woman, I have been married for the passed 18 years, and I love my husband dearly! My problem is that Sunil, my husband, just can’t keep his eyes off other women, and this hurts me so. Everyday I pray to God that this will change, but it never does. These passed few months he has started whistling at other younger women, right in front of me. I love my husband and don’t want to leave him, what should I do?


Dear Devi

As hard as this may be for you, you need to find what is lost in your relationship. Women tend to lose grip of themselves when in a comfortable relationship. Your husband may also be going through a mid life crises. Spice things up, do things out of the ordinary, and be spontaneous, and flexible. If this does not work, why not see a marriage counselor? All the best!


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